Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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