Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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