everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
