Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize