It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
