My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
