What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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