Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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