He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
