I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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