So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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