God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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