Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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