3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
