No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
