; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
