You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
