remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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