Whatcha textin bout Willis?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize