recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
