in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?