at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks