i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"