Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
