For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.