if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
