when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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