he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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