apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize