my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dick very happy bro
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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