I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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