Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
