Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
