i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
