He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
