Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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