he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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