just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
