i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
