so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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