life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're like the curious george of whores
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
