Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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