i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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