Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize