If that was your dad, he is hot
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
