Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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(559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5

Replies (17) Good night (1140) Bad night (4120)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

(352): View more from Florida

I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

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(970): The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency. (352): I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/wg41

Replies (28) Good night (7476) Bad night (926)
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(917): View more from New York City

so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...

(845): View more from New York

Are you serious?

(917): View more from New York City

yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...

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(917): so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head... (845): Are you serious? (917): yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it... http://tfl.nu/iiih

Replies (25) Good night (961) Bad night (4568)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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(201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni

Replies (194) Good night (3189) Bad night (15865)
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(248): View more from Michigan

btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese

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(248): btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese http://tfl.nu/b6cs

Replies (9) Good night (4864) Bad night (1222)
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(240): View more from Maryland

and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

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(240): and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore. http://tfl.nu/oorw

Replies (3) Good night (4237) Bad night (841)
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(916): View more from California

You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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(916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu

Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (1788)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior

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(508): nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior http://tfl.nu/s256

Replies (6) Good night (2361) Bad night (971)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin

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(970): Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin http://tfl.nu/mrds

Replies (6) Good night (994) Bad night (682)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

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(973): I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/9z43

Replies (2) Good night (1190) Bad night (432)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.

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(602): I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came. http://tfl.nu/kbkx

Replies (6) Good night (329) Bad night (924)
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(618): View more from Illinois

You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?

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(618): You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming? http://tfl.nu/vj0c

Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (853)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"

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(802): I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works" http://tfl.nu/gdy1

Replies (0) Good night (689) Bad night (399)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.

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(608): She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates. http://tfl.nu/p2lv

Replies (3) Good night (297) Bad night (411)
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(586): View more from Michigan

It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world

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(586): It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world http://tfl.nu/aknk

Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (197)

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