One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.