Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.