how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.