I puked a lego.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
