Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
