My friends, they love my intelligence
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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