Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
