My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
where does the pee come out of this thing
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
