I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
