Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
