so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
