Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
