new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
