i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
