Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize