We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
