I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
