This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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