would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
