I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my poor anus
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
