The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
