It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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