So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
