I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
