Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
